"Lukewarm" Stones

What an AMAZING birthday it has been! I refuse to ever be someone who says that a birthday is just another day! I think we all deserve to have at least one day that we get treated like royalty! Because we all know that with all the roles that we play....that is not always the case! This was one of the most relaxing and chill birthday's I can remember. This is my day.....
SLEEPING IN A LITTLE

A WALK TO THE POND TO FEED THE DUCKS WITH HAYLEY AND KOLBY...

LUNCH AT CHIC FIL A...

A NETFLIX MOVIE that had me laughing and laughing....

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,    1  & 1/2 MASSAGE WITH HOT STONES

 Well, it was supposed to be HOT stones! I have had a hot stone massage before and have incredible memories of it being a really great massage! I remember how relaxing and calming it was! Since it was my birthday I made a point to schedule this massage with hot stones on this day so that it would be the BEST massage ever! I also scheduled it to be a little longer just for the sake of spoiling myself a little more than usual since it was my birthday! I COULDN'T WAIT! I am laying there waiting for the lady to come back in and get started with these hot stones....All I kept thinking was Ahhhh this is gonna be the best 1& 1/2....   Well, it didn't take long to realize that my most of my time was being taken up with all of the preparation of the stones and towels and oil....Come on already...let's get this started...It will be all good when she starts massaging with the hot stones! And here she comes...Oh the anticipation.... She starts and the hot stones were not hot! Are you kidding me? Really? I don't want to say anything because of course that will eat more of my time up. Not only am I getting less massage than normal but the stones were nothing special!  So I sat there and endured the "LUKEWARM" STONES. I started thinking the one day that I wanted to be the best experience ended up lacking in every way! How many times have you been there?

I was laying there receiving this (much to be desired) massage and like I always do.....I start thinking and a memory of my sweet son Shelby crossed my mind...I have had this experience cross my mind many times before as some of my greatest lessons in life have come from the experiences with my children. Shelby was born on May 21st, 1998. He was my 3rd child and first son! He was born with the same terminal disease (Epidermolysis Bullousa) http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/epidermolysis-bullosa/DS01015/DSECTION=causes that my daughter Shealyn had died from 4 years previously. His life was very different from Shealyn's. I had taken a crash course with Shealyn and learned so much through having her. I had also already been through the experience of having a child only to have to bury them 4 1/2 months later. So the moment Shelby was born I knew what was to come. Not that I didn't pray for a miracle but the reality of this disease and the type that my children had was fatal. Even with that knowledge of knowing what his fate most likely was going to be...I still did everything I could to fight against the odds. Shelby spent most of his life in the ICU at Children's Medical Center! I lived there with him for 5 of his 5 1/2 months of his life. In that 5 months living in ICU I can only remember leaving the hospital one time. That was because my family wanted to get me out of that ICU waiting room to take my mind off of things and see the outside world. The State Fair of Texas was going on and they brought Hayley so I could try and have one normal night with her. It was hard to leave but I did it for Hayley's sake. It was hard to have fun because my mind was consumed with thoughts that maybe they will not take care of Shelby right, what if he dies while I am gone to the fair? Shelby's skin was so fragile that I was pretty much the only one that tended to all his needs. Nurses were only allowed to give him his meds through his tubes. So without me there, you could see my worries. However, upon my return he was OK! I didn't know then that the next day was going to be one of his worst days! The next morning after doing all the normal rounds the team of doctors came to inform me that Shelby's numbers were way low and that he needed another transfusion of TPN which provides nutritional support through an IV. So they came in to place a new IV as he could not leave in an IV in his skin very long or his skin would deteriorate around it and get infected. The IV would not go in...his clot factor was so off which meant that his body was shutting down and he could not get the TPN nutrition that he needed so badly. This was NOT good news! We knew at this point that it could only be a matter of days without this nutrition entering his fragile body. And then it began...all of the thoughts that flood your mind.....even after all of my efforts we were going to lose our precious boy. How long would I have him? I need to cherish these last days but how, I'm so sad. I am not ready or I am ready because I don't want him to suffer this incredible pain any longer? NO, I am not ready for him to leave? Back and forth, back and forth! I was a mess! I remember crying myself to sleep that night (which usually sleep only lasted about an hour) I just held him in the rocking chair all night falling asleep off and on! The nurses would come in and just watch me hold him because they knew I was falling asleep.

Well, I woke the next day to a miracle! His stats had turned around! They still could not get the IV in but he was doing better than he had done in weeks! Wait, I finally prepared my mind that he was going to die and that I was going to lose him. I wanted to believe that maybe this was the miracle that we were all praying for. Day one good, Day two was even better and even Day 3 he opened his eyes and smiled. The fourth day Shelby took a turn for the worse and was his heart rate dropped and they told me that they had done all they could do. I made the decision to take him home with hospice care. I could have him for one more day or who knows maybe weeks but probably not. But still, I wanted to take him home and that is what I did! Shelby died 10 days later on October 31st (Halloween)  in the morning in his room with me by his side. The sun was shining through the window and the house was quiet and Shelby took his last breath. It couldn't have been more peaceful.

So, you wonder why all of these details? Wonder what this story has to do with my "lukewarm" stone massage? Well, it is this.... I never knew that for the rest of my life I would regret those 3 days that Shelby appeared to be defeating the odds! Little did I know then that I spent all 3 of those days confused not knowing what was going on! No one could explain why Shelby was doing so miraculously well! Do you ever wish you could go back and redo certain situations? Well this is one that I would redo if I knew then what I know now! You see, I spent those 3 days worrying and trying to understand what was going on instead of CHERISHING EVERY GOOD MOMENT that he was having. I could have made memories...I could have spent 72 hours seeing if he would smile more...It was almost like Heavenly Father took his pain away for those 3 precious days and I could have enjoyed precious moments! I think of that experience from time to time as it taught me to never spend my time upset about a situation and waste the whole time bothered. Instead I could just take whatever situation and make the best of what I was offered and actually gain so much more.I regret missing out on what could of been 3 of the most precious days with Shelby.

So today, instead of spending the whole hour and a half wishing that the circumstances were better I decided to enjoy the massage even with LUKEWARM STONES. The lessons that I have learned throughout my life have taught me how to find Joy in the Journey. I invite you to remember this story the next time that you find your situation to be lacking or little to be desired and turn it around to find the good as YOU COULD POSSIBLY MISS MOMENTS THAT YOU CAN NEVER GET BACK!