A GIRL'S WORST NIGHTMARE!!!!!

It was a regular weekday...when all of a sudden I realized that I had a conflict of schedule in the upcoming week. So I immediately made a phone call to reschedule my conflicting appointment, so that I could attend Kolby's homecoming game. No big deal! When I called to reschedule the appointment, they couldn't work me in for my hair appointment. It was going to be two weeks later!

Ladies.... we all know that when it is time for an appointment, it is time! But, what do you do... So I scheduled my appointment for two weeks. I went on with my week. At least I wasn't gonna miss my boy playing. I was happy about that!

The weekend rolls around and Kolby reminds me that we are going to take Homecoming pictures by the pond in our neighborhood.... and I immediately thought, "um I can't take any pictures til I get this gray hair covered up" So, I immediately called my friend, Amylia (we are both blonde's) and asked where she gets her hair done, I was going to use her person this ONE time!

I got the info and called but they couldn't get in on a busy Saturday...so they told me they would call me if someone canceled! Well, I got that call, but it wasn't with the girl that did my friends hair. It was with another one of their stylists...but they reassured me that she was wonderful! So no worries...this salon has been around for years! On to my appointment I went!

So, I am sitting in the chair discussing with the girl and three others (her co-workers) how I want my hair. I felt totally comfortable and actually at ease as I listened to them all discuss their opinion on the best mix to create the color that I wanted for fall season. She proceeds to get all the supplies ready and of course my questions and hair history begins.... So how long have you been doing hair? You are familiar with doing curly hair? What products are you using? etc. (I have had hair disasters in the past, so I have to make sure they feel confident with curly hair) She tells me that she knows how hard it is to find someone to do natural curly hair and she felt my pain, because her daughters have natural curly hair and it put me at ease. She made me feel confident with every answer! Plus she had the two other girls that she was consulting with. So all was well! We chatted and visited as she proceeded to put the foils in my hair!

Shay sent me a text, asking me where I was...so I just happened to have a picture at this point because I sent a picture text of where I was...


NOTICE HOW MANY FOILS ARE IN MY HAIR...... (remember that as I continue my story)


And the "cover up the gray" project continues...




LONG STORY, A LITTLE SHORTER (or longer).....She takes all of the foils out of my hair and I notice this funny look on her face. I was in the washing bowl and I can tell that the foil don't slip off of my hair... She is kind of just picking them out of my hair! I asked her with exclamation, "Is something wrong?" She answers, "No, just getting some left over conditioner out of your hair."  That response doesn't feel right to me and so I say..."A little conditioner never hurt my hair... I 'll just take a look in the mirror and let's start styling and drying."

She hesitates to let me look in the mirror. As I sit down in the chair she immediately turns my chair away from the mirror and starts blow drying my hair. By this time, I KNOW SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT! I immediately turn the chair around to the mirror with a little force and MY FACE TURNS PALE IN AN INSTANT! I begin running my fingers through my hair only to find that there is NOT ANY HAIR IN THE FRONT OF MY HEAD! I ask her, where is my hair... WHAT HAPPENED?? WHERE IS MY HAIR?? WHERE IS MY HAIR?? I am keeping calm ( a little, OK so maybe not so calm) and I just kept repeating myself like I was in absolute SHOCK! She begins to tell me that I had some baby hairs and so on and so on! I told her I DID NOT HAVE ANY BANGS OR BABY HAIRS AND TO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY HAIR! She continues to beat around the bush and not tell the truth! ALL OF A SUDDEN... A lady comes from around the corner and says..."Oh no you are not gonna "BS" her... YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED... You over processed her hair and it ALL BROKE OFF, EVERY SINGLE PLACE THAT YOU HAD FOIL" 

AND THE TEARS BEGAN TO FLOW DOWN MY FACE! I AM IN COMPLETE SHOCK AT THIS POINT.... MY HAIR IS GONE! 

I CAN'T QUIT CRYING! MY HAIR IS LITERALLY GONE! 

So, that lady was the owner, and I just happened to be so blessed for her to be there...as we were the only two left at the salon! I really don't know what I would have done if she hadn't have been there to come around that corner and be so honest and outspoken! She literally made me get up and come over to her station and helped me wipe away my tears and said, "I will stick by your side and do whatever it takes to get your hair back to where it was and better!" She basically cried with me! I was so touched by her compassion! I shed tears for the girl that ruined my hair too. She didn't mean to do it! It was an accident! Come to find out, She has been a hairdresser for many, many years but has been out to have twin girls and raise them for a few years and was just coming back into the salon. Her mind was scattered and she was distracted and lost track of time as my hair had the product on it and literally burned it right off my head in every single spot that had foil! I had alot of emotions! 

Kelley, the owner begins to try and salvage what she could and decided that straightening my hair would be best for a short term solution! She did all she could... but really it was a disaster! When my hair is straight it is nearly down to my lower back... and here is where it was after this fiasco.....

I WENT FROM THIS....(all the hair across my forehead is gone and all over my head my hair is broken)

TO THIS.............

Yep...as you can see... My hair is to my shoulders STRAIGHT. So imagine where it would be curly! 

I was so sad! Notice the front.... WELL YOU CAN'T NOTICE... BECAUSE IT IS GONE! As you know, it takes twice as long to grow curly hair to the length that you want it and so this meant maybe close to a year or better to EVEN BEGIN TO GET CLOSE TO WHERE MY HAIR LENGTH WAS!

So... I left the salon that day 6 hours later and cried all the way home! And the next day and the next! Every time I went to look in the mirror I just cried! It was so bad! I couldn't do anything with it! 

The third day, I woke up and said, enough is enough! It is what it is, and you can't un-do this! So, I decided to make the best of it! Kelly had offered to introduce me to this guy named Buddy Sharp (a former Dallas Cheerleaders hair stylist) to get extensions! I had never had extensions and so I knew that it would be extremely hard to match my hair to any extension. But she said if anyone could do it...Buddy could! So I prayed about it and decided to try it! I called Kelley and said let's go for it! 

SIDE NOTE: Kelley paid $1800 out of her own pocket to get these extensions for me! They ordered European curly, blonde hair! (very hard to get your hands on) I did not know this until after the fact! Amazing lady full of compassion to make my situation right! 

I walk in and meet Buddy Sharp, that greets me with the biggest hug and kindest words of sympathy for my hair situation but then mentions, "what if this is right where God wanted you to be"
Buddy is a special soul... He lights up a room with his big personality and warm heart and big smile! Grateful to know him and be blessed by his talents! 

{Now, here is a little back story... I had been praying for some new connections for my Scentsy business. Little did I know that the answer to my prayer was going to be through this unfortunate situation.}

This IS where God wanted me to be! We begin to chat and share about life and he invites me to bring Scentsy to his extremely busy salon and set up all throughout the Christmas holiday. And Kelly also came to my appointment for support and also shared that she would be buying all of her stylists Scentsy this year for their Christmas gifts! I knew that my prayers had been answered! Yes, I believe that sometimes our blessings come in disguise of other things like hair catastrophes to help us grow and learn and endure!

You see, I learned alot about myself through this disaster! I didn't realize how much my hair was a positive spot for me...without my hair I felt blah! Which made me ponder what life is like for the beautiful souls that endure cancer and lose all of their hair! I began to be grateful that I still had some hair. It made me feel fat to have such short, burned up hair. Which made me realize that I have fallen off from taking care of myself the way I need too! Which has encouraged me to get that part of my life right AGAIN! I looked in the mirror one day and had alot of negative things to say to myself...(which is not a regular thing for me to do...I was just feeling down from my hair) I saw my double chin, and the wrinkles on my forehead that my hair used to cover, and the scars where I had severe sunburns in the past! I couldn't cover any of it up! Which made me stop and think how much my Heavenly Father loves me exactly how I am..scars, wrinkles, double chin and all!  I needed to love me with broken off, burnt up hair too!  I began to be grateful for this experience and how it had opened my eyes to bigger and better thoughts! 

So not only did I realize all of these beautiful things, I also grew my Scentsy business in a big way as the orders continue to come in at my weekly hair appointments! 

So here is my hair extension day....

Long side is extensions and short side is my hair all broken off and damaged!  

THIS IS MY HAIR AFTER THE AMAZING EXTENSIONS

I cant even imagine the last 2 months without Kelley and Buddy loving me and supporting me through this hair disaster!  Giving me these extensions to allow a little growing time has been a lifesaver!
It hasn't been easy... In fact, its been hard! It's been hard to match my curls to the extensions. It's been hard to keep the extensions from getting tangled. It's been hard to fix it everyday, as I have to wash it EVERY SINGLE DAY! It has been hard to keep the extensions from not getting matted together. I have had to wear my hair back in clips every day. But I also know that valuable things often come through hard situations! Valuable lessons, beautiful connections, and more self worth!

Even though my hair journey is gonna be a LONG one...I am cherishing the new friendships that I have made. Kelley is a wonderful person that has a huge heart and has touched me with her committed efforts to get my hair back to normal! Not only does she see me weekly, she and Buddy have shared some amazing hair products with me that has made my hair grow twice as fast! I am loving MONAT!

Next week I will have the extensions removed and I am nervous! But, I will go with it! Whatever it looks like and however short! The blessings have been worth the cost of enduring this. I am grateful to be reminded once again that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...even with some jacked up hair! Short hair coming soon!

THANK YOU KELLEY AND BUDDY!

Shealyn and Shelby... My Angels

Tis the season for all things FALL! So many anticipate this time of year full of pumpkins, decorating, cooler temps, hot chocolate nights and much more. I love it all too! But this season brings so much more than that for me. My precious Shealyn and Shelby both lived their lives through these months. Shealyn lived July til Thanksgiving day in November and Shelby lived May til Halloween day in October. So these months are full of precious memories and "movie clips" running through my mind at any given moment.

All of a sudden, the laughing, cheery, smiling Heather disappears and a more subdued, quiet, reverent Heather appears. Actually, it comes and goes. I'm not like that everyday at every moment, it's just during that time I never know when it is going to hit me. A memory will hit and that movie clip just plays at a moments notice. I can never pinpoint when this transition will come. Sometimes I know its here because while walking though Walmart a chord is struck the moment I see pumpkins out that triggers those tears to stream down my face out of nowhere. Sometimes, it's when the kids say, "Mom, are you listening to me?" They can tell that I am in another place in my mind! Sometimes, it can be hard to be around many people that haven't known me for long because they think I'm depressed if I have one of these moments hit me or they don't know how to take this side of me because they are used to my "happy-go lucky self". But, it's OK...it will pass shortly and I soon won't be tearing up out of nowhere! haha!  I actually appreciate these few weeks or months (different every year) to reflect on this special phase.... for some reason it always hits me in September. 

I'm grateful to be reminded of how far I have come from that 19 year old mother laying on the floor crying for weeks in front of an empty cradle by the christmas tree or the tears that streamed down my face at the sound of crying babies in church that only reminded me of my empty hands.  And many, many, many more experiences through those younger years when I was learning how to live with my losses. 

Because the truth is that as the years went on I learned that it wasn't loss at all but a great and special opportunity to grow into someone that I would have never become without the experiences that a loving Heavenly Father chose for me to go through. As a 40 year old, I know that my heart was crushed to understand the beautiful JOY that is accessible in this life. I was broken down as to understand how incredibly important dependency on God through this life is.  And also a relationship that we should all strive for so that we know Him and strive to be like Him. I wouldn't trade the lessons from loss for anything. For I have gained so much and the lessons have also shaped me and molded me to be a better me.

This IS NOT a sad time for me, yet simply an exploring of my heart, thoughts and feelings. I never knew when I lost my first child so many years ago and then the second child 4 years later that it would have been such a life-long trial for me. Loss of children or loss period has so many stages and phases. I love seeing what messages the Lord will bring to me each year through this season for me. I learn something new every year. 

I have spent the last 20 years trying to figure out and explore the new phases that hit year after year especially during this fall season. One thing for sure is that this trial of loss has kept me close to my Heavenly Father and has helped me live a life that is focused on what matters most. God, family and serving others. I may shed tears, and I may talk about them more during this time than the rest of the year....but one thing is for sure! I'm grateful for eternal families and the knowledge that I have that we will be together again if I live my life worthy to receive those blessings. 

Speaking of service, I have found a way to turn those hard cycles that used to hit me every year into positive ones. I started an annual fundraiser last year in memory of my sweet daughter,  Shealyn and my precious son Shelby called

"PAJAMA PAGES".  Since they spent their little lives in pajamas...I collect pj's for the children that spend Halloween in the hospital. And I collect books because I was either reading to my babies or to Hayley when she came to visit us in the hospital for months. This year I have included stuffed animals.



We also collect funds to go to the red wagons at Children's Medical Center. Shelby used to ride in the wagons to his therapy treatments and it was the one thing that Hayley could help with by pulling her brother around. 

Starting this service project during this season warms my heart and feels so good to turn that loss into something positive. Then on Halloween... the day Shelby went to heaven we donate all of the collected items.


 Last year I was able to collect $2000 worth of pajamas and books. I was also able to collect enough for one red wagon that costs $200 per wagon! It was a special day and I had two of my best friends Monica King and Amylia Coover and my daughter Hayley go with me to donate the items to the hospital. A very heartwarming and special day!

If you would like to donate BOOKS, PAJAMAS or STUFFED ANIMALS
Please message me for my address or if local I can arrange to pick them up! If you would like to donate funds for the red wagons or would like for me to purchase pajamas and books...Please PAYPAL me as a "gift" to livinyourlife08@gmail.com.

If you feel inspired to help me in my efforts to collect for this purpose...please feel free to reach out to me. Your donations mean more than you will ever know! 972-533-3158 or just message me on FB.

Find joy in the journey and turn hard things into positive things! Your heart will be happy!

Here is Shealyn Renee

Here is my Shelby Ray....

In memory of my angel babies SHEALYN RENEE and SHELBY RAY who died from a terminal disease called EPIDERMOLYSIS BULLOUSA (Junctional recessive)

Why I'm not Nice Anymore!

Did you see that.... Did you see how she.... Can you believe how she handled that... Can you believe that she let her kid do that.... I would never have let my child.... Can't imagine what they.... What kind of parents would let.... Did you see what she was wearing... Did you see her trip and almost fall...

Why do so many people feel the need to gossip or make fun? Why do so many feel that you need to live your life the way they do? Why are so many people so observant of what you are doing and then JUDGE you? WHY JUDGE? WHY CRITICIZE? WHY GOSSIP? WHY MAKE FUN?

I had my THIRD conversation with someone this week listening to them express hurt and pain at the hand of others! They have been affected by gossip, judging or just plain exclusion. IT HURTS!  You know we have all heard it. But the question is...WERE YOU THE ONE TO STOP IT?

The saddest part of it all is this is happening in churches, in homes, in work places, in social media...EVERYWHERE!                            It's getting worse and worse!   Being this way as a Christian robs The Lord of the church he deserves. Not to mention exposing your own heart and it discredits the gospel in the eyes of the world.  If we spent less time excluding others and judging them, then we would have more time to love and serve them! Christ wants us to bear one another's burdens for the good of the other person!  

It's that simple...Just STOP IT! Enough is enough! BE KIND! FIND ROOM FOR CHRIST IN YOUR LIFE! And if you have Christ in your life then reach out to others and be a light for them to find Christ in theirs!                                                                                                                                               

I have always heard people tell me that I am so nice! I have always thrived on being the nice! It just feels good!  As I was reflecting on the 3 conversations that I had this week,  I was reminded about a situation in high school where some girls were girls were talking about this other girl. I was right there and heard it all and I was being "nice" and didn't say one mean word. But, I don't remember speaking up and saying something to make it stop! I have also had those moments that I was the one gossiping and quickly learned that it felt terrible!  

Being "NICE" was keeping me from speaking up when something needed to be said. Being nice was preventing me from telling someone how I really felt about a certain topic. (since I didn't want to offend) Being nice trapped me at times into gossip because I was listening to someone and not speaking my opinion! (since I didn't want them to feel that I was being judgemental) Being nice kept me from saying how I feel politically or how I feel about racism or all of the things taking place in our world. Sometimes, I still get caught up in asking myself ...should I post that cause that might offend! I think I was addicted to being "NICE" and well a long time ago... I realized 

THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE NICE ANYMORE! But, rather.... KIND! 

 I know that I am only one small voice but  If you are reading this...Please commit to being that person that chooses to be kind and puts an end to it when people are gossiping or making critical, judgemental comments about others! I'm not talking about when you have to discuss situations that you are experiencing but straight up gossip!   People feel lonely! People feel hurt! People feel left out! It only takes one person to make a difference in a conversation! Be the one to speak kindness and breath life into another! Validate others! Be a friend! Be kind! Don't be clicky.. make everyone feel included! Do your part! 

There is no room for competing, there is no room for hating, there is no room for judging, there is no room for criticizing, there is no room to belittle others. And there is no room to be too nice and not speak up for what you believe!  Plato said, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."    Every day there is someone enduring a stressful job, demanding relationships, abuse from someone they love, someone has no idea how they are gonna make ends meet and a child that is struggling or someone with extreme responsibilities. Everyday there is someone that just got diagnosed with a disease that scares them to death, those that face uncertain futures or even struggles with self worth or loss! The LAST THING ANYONE NEEDS IS SOMEONE JUDGING HOW THEY HANDLE THEIR TRIAL!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Each and every one of us can make a difference and change the world! Making a difference often takes time! I read this quote that I loved so much..It said, "Our kindness may not grow roots until long after we've fertilized the flower beds! 

Every day there is someone, somewhere in the need of kindness!    Find JOY in loving those around you! Find JOY in being KIND! Find JOY in speaking up and making a difference!    

FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY!