My life was changed forever!

Have you ever gotten a massage? Well, if you haven't you should! If you have then I am sure that you can agree with me that it is relaxing, tranquilizing , therapeutic and  GREAT thinking time! On Monday, I had a massage scheduled and went like I always do twice a month. Only to realize that within moments of my massage starting that I was going to receive some beautiful life inspiration!

LET'S GO BACK....

It was  June 2009....4 years ago on a hot Texas summer day and me and the kids were going to go swimming. But, of course, I told them that we would go as soon as the chores were completed! So we all pressed forward trying to get all the tasks done so that we could GO! I wanted to go just as bad as the kids! We were in all different areas of the house speedily working when my son had an idea.

It was probably over 100 degrees outside and my son was thinking that it was too hot for the dogs to be outside so he was going to bring him in his room to cool off before we had to leave! So let me tell you what was goin on with our dogs at the time! We had our daddy pit named Smokey and we also had Smokey's son, Gixxer! Smokey and Gixxer were wonderful, fun and great family dogs! They loved the kids and protected them. They were very loyal dogs and totally apart of our family! One day Gixxer had grown larger than his dad! He was mixed with Pit Bull and American Bull dog...Beautiful dog! Anyway, Smokey all of a sudden wasn't OK with his son Gixxer being bigger and began to get dominant when it came to eating and would try and put Gixxer in his place! I'm sure Gixxer had respect for his dad and always responded to Smokey's request to back away when he growled at him! Well, one day Gixxer said enough is enough and reacted to Smokey! They began to fight! Luckily Shay was home and was able to break them apart! I called the vet wondering what I could do and I was told that this can be normal and it could last 2 times, 2 months, 2 years, or they could never get past the "Alpha Dog" syndrome! We were told to split the dogs up and only let them be together when they were monitored by us.

So, the day that Kolby was deciding to let Gixxer in to cool off in his room was during this separation period of time! Smokey was already having his turn in the house cooling off and had fallen asleep comfortably in the living room behind the coffee table! Kolby did not see Smokey sleeping and went to the back door to let Gixxer in the house! IMMEDIATELY, Smokey jumps up out of his sleep and attacks Gixxer! It all happened SO FAST! I remember being back in my room and hearing Kolby and Hayley screaming for me to come! They were fighting in the living room and of course, it was one of the worst times ever! Blood is going everywhere and I had to act fast! They are super strong and big dogs. Shay is very strong and even had difficulty pulling them apart under these circumstances! Well, this time Shay wasn't home! It was up to me or they were probably gonna just keep fighting and fighting! I was trying to keep calm but also at that moment wasn't even sure how safe it was to interfere with two strong dogs! I knew I couldn't just let them destroy the furniture and the room so I decided to bend down and grab Smokey and have Hayley grab Gixxer by his collar and I had Kolby open the back door! We are panicking but acting fast! ONE PROBLEM....Smokey didn't have his collar on! (Hayley had taken it off to let him relax) So, I had to bend over and bear hug him from the back! I help onto him with all of my strength while we prayed that they would release each other! Somehow, amazingly we pulled them apart and got one in the backyard and the other was taken to the garage. All of a sudden, I realized that I could NOT breathe very well! I thought I was having a panic attack...(I had never had one so I wasn't sure) All I knew was that I couldn't catch my breath or breathe very well. I ran to the kitchen to get water from the sink! Nothing helped, I told the kids I was going to my bed to lay down and see if calming down would stop this! I went to lay down on my bed and I fell to the floor! I couldn't even make it to my bed! I went to get up and COULDN'T MOVE! I started screaming for the kids...I had never felt pain like that before! IT makes me tear up even remembering that day! I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME! All I knew was that I HAD FALLEN AND I COULDN'T GET UP! ( I have always wanted to say that) hahaha But, unfortunately it really was the truth! I had the kids call my husband, my brother and anyone that could get there the fastest! They were both still out of town that day! My mom was traveling home from somewhere and couldn't make it to me for like 3 hours! I laid there on the floor crying in the worst pain I had ever had in my life until my mom got there 3 hours later!

We knew it was my back so she got me to a chiropractor! I can't even describe the excruciating pain that I experienced to get me up off the floor and in the car! They immediately got me in a wheel chair and I am crying continuously as I fill our documents. They got me back and did x-rays and realized that obviously I had damaged some disks! I had an MRI and discovered that I had a torn lower disk and an extreme bulging disk! The torn disk was the culprit for me unable to move or walk! I was bent over almost looking at my knees. I could not stand straight up! I was in a wheelchair and brought home unable to move except crawl to the bathroom for weeks on end. I couldn't even lean forward to pick up my own drink. I sat on the couch for day after day after day for almost a month and a half!  I got up and started waking with a cane but it took me another month before I could stand up straight! MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER! I had such a severe injury they were unsure if it was going to heal on its own after a LONG time or if I was going to need surgery! I ended up going for the LONG recovery!

I had never experienced physical pain like this and was immediately COMPASSIONATE for anyone that has ever had to experience any kind of physical pain on a daily basis from any source! I will always have that compassion! Also, I gained weight being so immobile. My life had changed! I couldn't work. I couldn't be a mom. I couldn't even take care of myself! Major life change sitting on the couch needing everyone else having to take care of me! Month after month and I had gotten depressed from the weight gain and the inability to do anything with my family! If it weren't for my daughter Hayley, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE! She took care of me non-stop, day in and day out that ENTIRE SUMMER! She had to even reach my drink for me if I wanted a sip because the pain was great just to move my arm! So when Shay got home they would get me situated and take the kids OUT! I had to stay home day in and day out! Anyway, you get the point! I WAS NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME! We never went swimming that day and my life was changed forever.

So this is where the massage therapy comes in! After some time of healing....I decided to continue to heal from getting massage therapy. I got a massage EVERY MONDAY for almost a year! I was 34 and after almost a year of massage therapy I was laying on the table and the therapist says to me..."Heather, you are 34 years old and you have the flexibility of a 60 year old. This is serious, what are you going to do? Is this all you are ever gonna be? All I could do was cry! I had tried everything! I couldn't hardly work out! I could walk but not for too long! I was functioning but still after all of those years could not sit too long, stand too long, walk too long, do the dishes very long (the angle killed my back) I couldn't lift anything...basically I still needed help from everyone! Anyway, i just went on with my life and still getting massage therapy once or twice a month with a different therapist! I didn't know if I would ever get back anywhere near normal physical activity! It was especially hard coming from our very physical family! No more hand stand competitions, chase, and all the other things we used to do! Mama ALWAYS SAT AND WATCHED FROM THE SIDE! IT SUCKED! It took me awhile to even get my mind right about it all! But, through all the years I learned to deal with the pain! I learned what I could do and what I couldn'd do! I learned how easy it was to overdue it! I learned how to live with pain without complaining! I learned how to wear a smile on my face despite the pain! I learned that I would have setbacks but that I could continue to get stronger and better everyday.

So back to MONDAY...I was laying there for my massage and my therapist that I have had for about 6 months starts her massage and says, "I know you like the music loud and to enjoy the silence but I have to ask you...WHAT ARE YOU DOING...you look fabulous and I am massaging a whole LOT more muscle than ever before...You look fantastic!" Well, You got believe someone who is actually feeling your muscles and seeing you without clothes. (of course, with the sheet) But anyway it was one of those moments that I realized I paid the price to get to where I was receiving that compliment! It didn't just happen! I started crying and she had NO IDEA what she had said that would make me cry! I told her what the therapist had said 4 years ago about me and that it had always stuck with me! She understood why her words meant so much to me! Here I was full circle, back in a massage and the words this time were SO DIFFERENT! I learned very valuable things at that very moment! I learned that the quote that says, fall down 7 times and stand up 8 is a true principle! I learned that if we quit we never will see the miracle. I learned that we may not always understand our pain but it is always something that you can learn from it! I learned that I had kept going even in  my pain and I had just reaped the reward by her words that my hard work had paid off! I still experience back pain but I endure and work through it! You see, I had tried to get my core stronger because I was told that I would help my back pain....Well, the pain was always too great and I quit! This time I worked through the pain and eventually the pain was lessened just like they said it would be if I got my core stronger! I finally pressed forward long enough and hard enough that I BROKE FREE!

How many times do we stop short because its too hard or the pain is too much and we give up? I did it several times within the last 4 years! I have now challenged myself to get in the BEST shape that I possibly can! I know what it feels like to have no choice to sit on the couch from severe pain! I want to live my life as proof that I never want to go back to the couch from immobility! I am gonna do all I can do to keep going and make a difference for my health so that I can prove to myself that I came through this trial and that I can OVERCOME! Although, I have limitations, I am finding everyday that I can push through barriers and change my circumstances!
And if I have to deal with a little pain and soreness...IT'S OK...I am on a MISSION!


 FIND JOY IN OVERCOMING AND FIGHTING BY PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER NO MATTER HOW HARD OR HOW PAINFUL! You will find that one day that next step may take you out of the pain and trial! Move forward with faith and NEVER QUIT! THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

A Beautiful Perspective

Every time I pull out the laptop to write I wonder why it has been so long since the last post. Oh how I love to write! I especially love writing about things that I can't quit thinking about or that impact me so much I just have to share!


This is one of those that I just have to share, as I feel that it was a straight blessing and answer to my prayers! Oh how I love it when I am reminded of things that I share on a regular basis and is kind of a wake up call to me! I love being reminded of my life theme...A BETTER ME A BETTER MOM!

So, I recently went to Cancun, Mexico for a Scentsy leadership meeting! I have to admit that I almost talked myself out of going! Only because I was not ready to leave my family again! (You know you have traveled alot when you don't want to go to Mexico) In 2012 I was gone on a trip almost once a month or every other month...so needless to say I was not ready to pack those bags quite yet! But of course, I did!

The first 2 days I was homesick but still managed to enjoy myself and learned amazing things! I have never really experienced being homesick! I think alot of it had to do with the emotions of the last time that I was gone for a week my family was hit by a tornado and life was drastically changed!

On the 3rd day I was able to talk to my husband and ended up spending 4 hours on the phone having a wonderful conversation about everything! Being gone is good sometimes because you get the chance to be missed! I decided that the last day I would have some "ME" time...which you usually don't get when you are at  a big leadership because you are spending it with all of your dear friends! So the 4th morning I scheduled a spa/massage appointment! (PURE AWESOMENESS) I thought that after that I would catch up with everyone! But, by the time I was done most everyone had already gone into town for some shopping! So I declared it a pool day and went down searching for some friends to hang out with! Well, after my long walk and search I found no one. So, I decided to find me a spot and ENJOY some sun!!!

So here I am in Mexico with 600+ people at the resort and I am by myself! As I laid there I had so many things running through my head...."This is incredible", "Man, I could do this everyday", "I miss my family". " I am so happy". "I love my life", " I am grateful for so many things"

You know the feeling when you just feel so much gratitude.... So that is where my mindset was! Especially after the AMAZING spa experience and massage! Anyway, when I have this kind of time I always repeat in my mind....A BETTER ME A BETTER _______! I allow myself to reflect and think what could I improve on or work on to make the relationships in my life more meaningful and stronger! (Yep that's me) Well anyway I was thinking of my kids and I had different memories flash through my head! Some great and some not so great! Like the moments when I lost my temper at something or the day I didn't have patience and responded with words I wished I could take back!  Which led me think about what I could do differently upon my arrival home to really let my kids know that I was their #1 supporter and that I loved them unconditionally in spite of the messy rooms, occasional talking back, unfinished homework, unfinished chores, lazy moments and etc,.

At this moment, I am laying out by the pool with my eyes closed, listening to the waves, hearing the music, the sound of laughter from other guests, and just thinking! When all of a sudden I was tuned into this one voice...."come on, you can do it", " oh, look at our big boy", "look mama, he is doing it", " take one more step", "we are so proud of you", ""Hunny, I am getting it all on video...keep talking to him so he doesn't stop", "Wow, you are really doing it", "Come on bubba you can do it", "oh look at our big boy" .....So as you can imagine me with my eyes still closed, I was picturing a little toddler that was just learning to walk and was walking into the water for the first time by himself! It caused me to open my eyes and see the cute little family! To my surprise, it was not a little beginner toddler....It was a boy that was probably 16-18 years of age and the dad was in the water talking to his son and the mom was behind filming! I could not quit watching the excitement and COMPLETE LOVE in their faces as they encouraged their son. I was so intrigued I could not quit watching! I started clapping and joining in saying, "you can do it" I looked at the dad and saw tears strolling down his face! I knew that I was witnessing something special and had no idea of the magnitude!

The boy went in as far as he could stand and turned around and went back to his mom who greeted him with teary hugs! The father saw my interest and approached me to tell me that every day with their Ben is a GIFT and that Ben was supposed to die about 10 years ago and that he is mute and deathly afraid of the water! (I am not sure of his exact condition) He said think of all the things that you do with water.... I understood that he was sharing what a struggle life has been raising Ben! Everything, Everyday is a major challenge! He had tears rolling down his face as he shared that this trip was a gift from loved ones! Because of his medical expenses they have never been able to travel with Ben. So here they were in Mexico and for the first time in his life he wanted to go into the water! I couldn't hold back the tears! The last thing he said to me was..."Not one day has been easy but it has been so worth it! Ben has taught us some beautiful lessons in life and we CHERISH EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NEVER GET MAD AT HIM FOR THE STRUGGLE FOR WE NEVER KNOW WHEN IT MIGHT BE HIS LAST DAY...BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD HIM 10 YEARS LONGER THAN WE WERE TOLD WE WOULD! SO WE MAKE THE BEST OF EVERY SINGLE DAY NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO LOSE HIM ON A DAY THAT I GOT ANGRY, SO I KEEP GOING AND GOING" "He said, TODAY IS A MIRACLE"

I told him that I would cherish this moment and that I felt privileged to have witnessed his miracle!
He then leaves back to his son and I am laying there with tears streaming down my face! Realizing how blessed I was to have witnessed that and also feeling it a direct blessing that I was just pondering how I could go home and be a better mom! My life had been changed by strangers that felt all so familiar! Thank you to my Heavenly Father that blessed me with that beautiful visual and paradigm shift! See, I know what it feels like to lose my children and have many things that I do differently because of having that perspective! But as I have reached this phase in my life with teenagers it was a beautiful lesson RIGHT ON TIME! How grateful I was for this BEAUTIFUL PERSPECTIVE SHIFT!

So, if you have felt that your mundane routine of laundry, chores, homework, baths, cooking dinner, practicing math, science fair projects, potty training, teenagers talking back, curfews being broken, the list goes on and on and on ..... always REMEMBER THIS STORY! Remember this father's perspective and change your mindset! These children came here to be with you because of you and we as their parents should love them and cherish them EVERYDAY! For you never know when it could be your last day with them!

Find JOY in your CHILDREN no matter what! No matter how frustrating it can get! Find JOY in being a mother and WITH ALL THAT BEING A MOTHER CONSISTS OF! Finding JOY in the journey of raising your children makes for a better quality of growing up! Let them know that you love them and helping them succeed! If your heart is not in it then they will know!

FIND JOY IN THIS BEAUTIFUL PERSPECTIVE CHANGE when you feel unappreciated as a mother for it will make you feel like soaring!

A BETTER ME...A BETTER EVERYTHING!

And there it is...ANOTHER YEAR has come and gone! Goodbye to 2012 and HELLO to 2013!

I used to say "THIS IS GONNA BE MY YEAR" I really believed it too! And year after year after year I was faced with hardship and trial and of course mixed with blessings and growth! However, I wasn't exactly left to believe that it was "my year"

I remember at the beginning of 2012...I spoke those words again and really believed it! I had reached a point in my life and my career that I was able to retire! I believed that it was truly gonna be an amazing year! I retired from my full time career  in January to take Scentsy on full  time and man did I think that some great things were ahead! I had a couple of trips in February and March and also some speaking engagements and I was really on a high! Being home with my kids and choosing how I spent my days was a dream come true!

I had no idea that our lives were about to be turned UPSIDE down in a few short weeks! On April 3, 2012 we were hit by an F3 tornado and it changed everything! We had no where to go after the house was destroyed! We ended up living in the hotel for the longest 5 months that I can remember while the house was being repaired!  I remember thinking.. "this was sooooo not what I had in mind for retirement!" Well, as a result we ended up enduring some of the hardest 5 months we have ever faced!  We had just moved and sold our house which already had us in new territory for the first time ever but, now after having just adjusted to our new surroundings....MAJOR CHANGE AGAIN!

So half of 2012 was spent living in the hotel inside 4 walls for the Earl family! Even though we were faced with hardship on every front...it ended up being one of the greatest blessings that I can recall! We have even joked that a part of us misses some of the good parts about being together inside those 4 walls!

I can't even begin to tell you the hardships that were caused from this experience! But that is where I proved the truthfulness of my favorite phrase and life theme.... "A BETTER ME... A BETTER EVERYTHING!" ,

Enduring this trial really showed each of us what we were made of and all of  us experienced personal growth! As we bonded our world really was better! Our love was deepened and our unity was strengthened and our faith was increased!

So now that we find ourselves at the beginning of this new year...it makes me think what do we really mean when we say Happy New Year...I kind of feel that we are just celebrating the chance to start a new chapter and close the door to the struggles and trials that we faced! Even if it was a great year for some then it is closing the door to great things and ready to build that into a new and even greater year!

In the dictionary the word RESOLUTION  states that it is the act of analyzing a complex notion into a simpler one or a formal expression of opinion or intention made.

A resolution to me means to reflect and analyze on our life and  the year and all that we have endured and break it down into personal understanding and simplify the lessons! Then we make daily choices that expose that we have grown from our struggles and trials! Then you become "A BETTER YOU"

Every chance you take to reflect about yourself and HOW your struggles affect you and then allow it to improve yourself then you are becoming a better you!

When you are a better you then you can bring forth a positive change in the world by starting with yourself first! It is time to embrace who you are and the trials that you face. It is time for people to be responsible for what they bring into the world. It is time to feel our own strength and how we can make a difference. It is time for us to realize that we have the ability to transform the lives around us by believing in ourselves. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others around us permission to shine!"

Pick whatever word that you want to fill in the blank and it is still true!
A BETTER ME; A BETTER _________________ (friend, marriage, sister, brother, mother, wife, husband, mom, co-worker, neighbor)

AS YOU EMBRACE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT OCCUR IN YOUR LIFE AND THAT YOU WILL FACE IN 2013....REMEMBER THIS....

The GOLDEN opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.  ~Orison Marden

As you begin this new chapter of your lives in 2013... Find JOY in yourself and take time to reflect! As you discover yourself and make small improvements each day! You will become BETTER and in turn make your world BETTER!

A BETTER ME, A BETTER EVERYTHING!

Rose-Colored Glasses

Well my friends...I can't tell you how humbled I am to receive requests for new blogs! You will never understand what that really means to me! You should have heard what my mind was trying to tell me in the beginning of my blog writing! It was the first time that I had offered such personal life thoughts and experiences and I was feeling rather vulnerable! So the requests for a new blog from several people is incredibly humbling to me!

Recently, I have written 5 blogs that I have not published because the topics were so very near to my heart!  I think I just needed to write about some things and get it out of my system! But those 5 blogs have brought me to the point to write this blog...and for that I am grateful!

I had someone say to me recently; "You always have your head in the clouds!" I laughed they laughed...And I said, YEP! The "old me" would have probably questioned what they meant but, the person that I am today responded...YEP, It sure is!! You see, it doesn't matter what they meant! I took it as a compliment! I consider the clouds as a beautiful happy place!

Self discovery is something really beautiful, but it takes ALOT of patience, self-love, hardships, and ALOT of time! It is weird because if you ask me about my life...I will tell you that I have had an AMAZING life and I truly feel that way! Now if you were to just list the trials that I have experienced you would not think that it could possibly = AMAZING! But its true! If you ask me about my childhood...I would say it was wonderful! If you ask me about growing up and high school...I would say it was great! If you ask me about early married days...it was awesome! If you ask me about my children....I will tell you incredible cherished stories! If you ask me how my life has been the answer is AMAZING!

If you know me well, you know that I have had trial after trial after trial!  So I had alot of pondering to do on this and figure out why if I had been through so much could I possibly HONESTLY respond this way and explain my life to be so good!  The answer that I have discovered...IS YES!

In order to share with you why I see life through
"rose colored glasses"
I am going to share some of the struggles
 that I have faced!





I want to preface this part of my blog: You may read the following and immediately think.. WOW ...that is too much to put out there! Log off and don't continue reading! (One person has expressed to me that I share too much personal information) If you think you might be judgemental about what I am writing then Log off and JUST DON'T READ....But, here is what I believe

 

I truly believe in those 3 choices! Bad things have happened and I have let it strengthen me! I also believe that we all have a divine purpose and it has been very clear to me that I should speak out! As I mentioned earlier that it leaves you feeling a little vulnerable at times (depending what you are sharing) But, my purpose has been confirmed to me many times! When I began writing and opening up about the losses, struggles, and pain that I have faced...I have PRIVATELY received email after email thanking me for being honest and opening up so that "they" had someone that they could trust to open up to and share what they have been through knowing that I would understand and not judge them! For this I am grateful that my pain can help someone else! I used to question why my life had to be so hard, but through the years I have embraced my calling of helping others find JOY IN THEIR JOURNEY and my trials...well I ALWAYS look for the meaning, purpose and growth! It is a CHOICE to see life through rose colored glasses! It has also brought me to my next chapter in life and I am in the process now of becoming a LIFE COACH! Something I have always wanted to do is coming true!

So here it is....are you ready??? I have deleted  this sentence 10 times but I am gonna put out there for the first time publicly. (even if it's just for 1 person)...I was raped my first year of high school!! Like I said...Bad things happen! My best friend died right after high school, I dealt with a very low self-esteem, I miscarried twins (Our first pregnancy) then lost Shealyn (our first child) then lost Shelby (our third child), I think this is where I share WORDS OF OTHERS (like the lady that told me I brought my trials on myself because of having a child out of wed-lock...like it was my punishment), marriage struggles (I tease Shay and say that he has been married to 3 women in 1 due to all of my emotional ups and downs), one ADD child, one ADHD child (if you deal with that you know that means so much), Also, as wife and mother you carry the burdens of the trials that your children and husband face (but that is their story),  betrayal of friends, extreme back injury that cost life changes and living with daily physical pain, post traumatic stress, Loss of my dear father (not to mention the visuals of all the traumatic things I had to witness), MAJOR judgement  and criticism from people (hence my marriage to Shay, a black man, my choice to have more children after losing, my parenting, etc.) AND MUCH MUCH MORE... Needless to say, My life has not been easy! I have never once taken medication (not dissing it if you do)...I just have chosen to let myself feel the depth of every painful situation! There was a 5 month period of my life MANY years ago that was just too much for me to handle and I was weak and turned to drinking for 5 months! I am ashamed of that! But, I learned from that how extremely important it is to keep yourself STRONG so that you don't turn to the world for your relief! That you love the Lord with all of your heart and choose the right! WHEW...Ok so glad that I got all of that out! Even though Shay, my sweet husband, WAS my trial at times (LOL), He has been by my side THROUGH IT ALL...(with the exception of being raped) But in reality, he dealt with me emotionally and mentally after the fact!

So when people give me grief about my head being in the clouds or teasing me because I am so happy all of the time, or teasing and asking can they have some of what I am taking, or thinking that I am fronting this pretend happy life on face book....I DON'T LET IT GET TO ME! I smile....because I know who I am, I know where I have been, and I know where I am going! I just love them anyway! And if they decide they don't like me for my openness....that's OK too! So maybe this blog is a little glance into why I CHOOSE to see the world through my BRIGHT FUSCIA COLORED GLASSES...and go ahead and throw some bling on them too! I LOOK!

 

It is true...I really do find JOY IN THE JOURNEY! I truly have a deep and strong relationship with my Heavenly Father and He continually gives me strength! But I do ask! It takes alot of work to keep myself strong and my Rose glasses clear and free of spots! It is something that I take very seriously! I serve others, I reach out to help when I can, I pray for those around me, I truly do care deeply for others! I have dedicated my life to being there for others and sharing my experiences of life and sharing all that I have learned...which has been much! I will write an entire blog on what I do to keep my positive, optimistic attitude strong! But, this is one thing that I will share for now....

 

 

I learned this while in the living in the ICU with my first child...there is ALWAYS someone that has it worse than you do! Even when I was going through each of these trials and crying a river or maybe an ocean...I never forgot these words, "There is someone that has it worse than me" I learned to be grateful for my trials and the realization that each situation could always be worse! I became grateful for who I was becoming from each hardship and I learned to appreciate every trial and found it an opportunity to grow and become a better person! I have learned MANY things and am in the process of writing a book of how to FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY no matter what may come your way!

 

And lastly, I always believed this.....THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

 

Find JOY in LIFE and realize that every single hard thing you face...YOU have a choice!

Choose to see the positive, Choose to be an optimist, Choose to see life through ROSE COLORED GLASSES! IT JUST MAKES LIFE SO MUCH BETTER!

The TAXI

So if you know me well...you know that i always look for deeper meaning in situations! I am always looking for what I can learn from the daily situations that I encounter! I love learning the lesson and then applying it into my life! This situation has been on my mind for days!

I was out of town for a Master Mind Event in Houston this past weekend! UH...MAZING by the way! We had a 2 hour window for lunches so everyday we would catch a cab to lunch...eat...and walk back! (Always makes you feel better to walk after eating...RIGHT?) At this time everyone at the event is released at the same time for lunch and most do exactly what we were doing! Cab to lunch and walk back! Well on the 2nd day when we walked out for lunch we walked over to the cabs as they are all lined up in front of the hotel! We walked up to the first cab and get into the cab! We are greeted with a not so friendly cab driver.... He asks "Where are you headed?" We respond, "Around the corner to the Grand Lux restaurant" Then there is this awkward moment of silence and he says, "Well that's gonna be $6 to go around the corner" We respond, "Well that's fine" Then another awkward moment of silence...He then says "They have a free shuttle that will take you there...Did y'all know that?" We respond, "That's OK...there are so many of us trying to get to lunch we would just rather pay and get over there" He says, "Well y'all need to ask the cab behind me" We all have this look on our face like....are you hearing what I am hearing? He then says "Yeah y'all need to get on out and get another driver..I gotta pull on up here to get someone else!!!" We all look at each other and could not believe that this cab driver was PUTTING US OUT OF HIS CAB! We quickly realized that we were a waste of his time and our little quick trip around the corner for $6 bucks was not good enough! We quietly and politely got out of the cab!

We then went to the cab driver behind him and told him where we needed to go and he VERY KINDLY said "Yes, please get in!" He then asked how was our day going?" We told him that it was great and also that we had been put out of the cab in front of him! He said, "Oh this is my pleasure to take you to the Grand Lux" So we began to ask him a little about himself and before too long we were already there! So I bet you know what we did..... YEP, YOU ARE RIGHT....WE GAVE HIM $20 FOR OUR LITTLE TRIP AROUND THE CORNER! He graciously said Thank you and even offered to wait on us! We thanked him and he was on his way!

I probably will never see either of those two men again in my life! But that quote stands out in my mind..."You may forget what they say but you will never forget how they made you feel!"

So here are my thoughts on the 1st cab driver....In the time that he took trying to get us out of his cab...he could have pretty much already had us to our destination and on his way back for another trip!

He was more concerned for his pocket and willing to treat us like we were nothing in order to get what he thought would be better! The truth is that everyone that was standing waiting on the cabs were going to one of 3 choices which were ALL around the corner!

We did not even have to see what his outcome was going to be...It was already obvious what kind of standards that man lived his life with! Unfortunately, he never learned that his mentality in life was never going to get him anywhere!

Do you pass up opportunities thinking there is something better around the corner? DON'T DO IT! Make the best of what comes your way! You may one day realize that you can never get an opportunity back if you pass it up waiting for something better!

"Life isn't forever, so take the first chance, don't wait for the second one. Because sometimes there aren't second chances!" Make the BEST of each day!

The 2nd cab driver lived a life of gratitude! He found JOY in his work and spent his few minutes with us asking us questions about our event or answering questions giving a brief background on himself! A truly delightful man! He greeted us with a smile and went out of his way to open doors and close them! He was very deserving of the extra money that we extended to him!

Isn't that how life is??? When you forget yourself the greatest things in life somehow find their way to you!

You might say well, he just happened to be the next cab driver and it was his lucky day! I suggest that he lives his life in this manner all of his days and this was his blessing to get us in his cab this day and get paid alot extra for being in his cab for 5 minutes!

It reminds me of these great stories that I LOVE SO MUCH!

A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit.

and this one....

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.
"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone."


Live your life everyday, giving your absolute BEST that you have to offer! Give back and look for opportunities to bless the lives of others...no matter how small and even if it only takes 5 minutes! You have the choice everyday to live a life with meaning and purpose....Live your life as if YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE...BECAUSE YOU DO!

 


“Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.”

“Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.”

“We can choose to be affected by the world or we can choose to affect the world. ”

I have learned that REAL JOY and TRUE HAPPINESS comes from doing something worthwhile!
Find the JOY in serving others even if it is just a SMILE! Believe that you can make a difference and look for the opportunities to do so with the people that come into your life any given day! Speak to strangers and share your JOY! You never know how you can change someones life by just being friendly!
Find the JOY in MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

Sticks and stones....

You never know what each days brings! Today I have a headache that is KILLING me! I took medicine and still have my headache! I laid down for a bit and still have my headache! Then I started feeling anxiety that I couldn't explain! Then I started feeling my heart beating strongly in my chest! Then my subconscious mind and my conscious mind intersect! THE TEARS STARTED TO FLOW! I felt like I was doing good throughout this season of  memories and then out of the blue....IT HITS!

I received a phone call this morning that a friend from church lost their son today! They knew that this was coming....BUT, really there is NO WAY to prepare for this! I have lived it twice! My heart literally HURT FOR THIS MOTHER and family! It pierces my heart every time I hear that another mother has to endure this kind of pain! Even having beautiful knowledge of eternal families and eternal life...We still face the human reality of this kind of trial! It hurts! It just plain hurts! In this moment I just burst into tears knowing what burden this mother was carrying and subsequently caused for me to feel for a moment my own pain as tomorrow marks the day of my sweet Shelby passing! Many have shared with me through the years that one should celebrate, or be happy knowing that they are with Heavenly Father! Of course that brings an insurmountable peace! But the reality is that we don't reside in heaven! We have "natural man" feelings that we feel! I finally in life feel OK to say these things because I have done everything I know to do for MANY YEARS and the feelings STILL COME every year like clockwork! I feel OK to be down a day or two and just let the tears come! It is amazing to me the comments that I have received through the years and today for the first time I am going to share some of them...

"You should get counseling"
"Maybe you are depressed"
"You should be happy"
"Do you take any medicine"
"Just don't think about it"
"You let yourself get like that"
"But, it's been so long ago"

Because of the many things that have been said to me through the years I often found myself subconsciously trying to respond to them all! Somehow I felt like I shouldn't feel the way I felt and didn't realize that when I did feel the pain that I should be stronger or something! Whoever said "STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME"...LIED! It just plain isn't true! Maybe it is true for the person that is in denial about their true feelings! WORDS HURT! The thing is that not one of those people that said any of those things was trying to hurt! They were trying to help! They were trying to show their love! I know that from the bottom of my heart! But it doesn't mean that the words didn't affect or hurt me in some way!

When I think back on my life and realize that I was 19 when I lost my sweet Shealyn...That Thanksgiving afternoon when we were just sitting down to eat Thanksgiving dinner she began to have seizures and later died....My life has never been the same since! Then I think of the beautiful Halloween morning when my precious Shelby took his lasts breaths and the sun was shining through the window! A new chapter again when I hadn't even completely figured out how to be after losing my first child! Not to mention that I had my sweet Hayley in the middle of all that! Oh well, My life each day was new understanding and living and learning and I still am! I don't think I have ever known NORMAL! But I am beyond grateful to have had experiences that cause me to have daily empathy for others.

I LOVE pictures of the sky with sun rays shining through the clouds so much! These pictures represent my life! I have almost always had some huge cloud or storm to face but with my love of Jesus Christ and desire to overcome the mountains that are placed in my path are the rays that shine through...expressing HOPE and FAITH!

I often wondered why I had to lose both of my children on such traditional holidays that have specific and precise memories associated with them! The whole season is a memory! But, I have realized how grateful I am for these memories because it is a CONSTANT reminder of the plan of happiness or the LOVE that our Father in heaven has for each one of us!

I do so good all year long and I take my trials and experiences and try to share what I have learned, give back, and help those in need! I DELIGHT in that actually! But, sometimes despite the positive thinking, the reading inspirational things, the uplifting music, it will NEVER be enough! I'm thankful for these days that remind me that there is ONLY ONE that has already taken my heartache, burdens and pain and I can get on my knees and say, TODAY IS TOO HARD, MY MIND HAS TAKEN ENOUGH, MY HEART IS IN PAIN, I NEED RELIEF....and then the phone rings and I decide to answer....a complete stranger that I have never met on the other line! She said she felt impressed to call me...we talked for 30 minutes and I was able to express to her what was in my heart and she said how grateful she was that our paths crossed! This is a real life miracle! I have learned by opening up and sharing myself that I open up the opportunities for amazing, unique and beautiful experiences to enter into my life even on the hardest of days! I could have chosen to just lay in bed and cry but I decided to open up and write this blog and the phone call came during my writing!  I JUST REALIZED MY HEADACHE IS GONE!

Even in my sadness of grief and loss...I CHOOSE JOY! How can I not smile even through the tears when you realize that your life was meant for a purpose even if you don't know all the reasons why!

Find JOY in the JOURNEY even on the hard days....IT'S POSSIBLE! Open up and don't be afraid of someone seeing your tears...That kind of communication can change lives!

UNconditional.....

It's so funny how I try and talk myself out of writing even when I love it so much! It is in these moments when the comments that some of you have taken the time to share with me about my blog push me through my self doubt and inspire me to write anyway!

My heart is FULL! As it often is during this time of year! As I sat and thought quietly before I started my fingers to the keys.... the one thing that didnt seem so quiet in my mind was something that is very near and dear to my heart..... Loving UNCONDITIONALLY!  My capacity to love is great and always has been! My mom has shared stories with me telling me how I loved even when I was a little girl!  As I have gotten older I  didnt even always understand how I could love people so deeply! It is easy for me to love! It just comes naturally! I haven't always felt like it was socially acceptable to be so sensitive and loving....believe me I have gotten made fun of through the years that I'm the emotional or sensitive one! But when your heart is BIG....being sensitive just comes along with the territory! I care so deeply! 

Through the years I have seen friendships end over differences of opinions on things like religion, parenting, politics, how someone lives their life, mistakes that people have made, or maybe just because they do things differently or different things are important to them than another! Why do people judge??? Why can't we celebrate the differences that are in each of us? Why can't more people just LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY???

Why can't we just look at someone and love them! Why is it more natural for people to look at someone and size them up instead of trying to get to know them and seek the GOOD!

I remember one day in nursing school I was in Downtown Dallas and I saw a guy at the same bus stop...I think he lived on the streets! His clothes were dirty and he smelled bad! BUT,  I will never forget HIS EYES! I looked in his eyes and I instantly thought, "What happened in his life?" I wondered what kind of pain had he endured and I wondered if he had ever felt love from someone! I smiled at him and he began to cry! I wondered when was the last time he ever saw a smile! He never even asked me for anything! No words were spoken! I have often thought about that man! I could see straight past the smell and his clothes! This is a more extreme example but what about that family member or friend that raises their children way different than you would! What about that way that family member or friend handled a situation! If your first reaction is to judge then that is not being unconditional! Why can't people see right past the issue and love the person!

I have been judged on many different things through my life...I know what it feels like to have judgement placed on you! It used to hurt! I have grown and learned that there will always be someone that thinks you should do something different  or that you should or shouldn't do this or that! You can even love those people!

We are ALL at different places in life and we ALL have different trials that we face....so try to LOVE more freely instead of getting caught up in judgements of others...NO MATTER WHAT!

You should never let the problem be bigger than your love of the person!

As I have watched the election draw near I have witnessed alot of hate and anger amongst people! I have seen relationships end as a result of someones beliefs!

We need to get back the the "GOLDEN RULE" of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you! We need more LOVE! We need more willingness to help another instead of saying well they got themselves into that mess! We need more genuine care instead of saying well that's the world for you! We need more concern instead of saying well I have my own problems! We need more praise instead of assuming it will give someone a big head! We need more compliments instead of assuming one must already know! We need more reaching out instead of thinking you are not gonna waste your time! We need more service instead of thinking your own plate is too full! We need more unconditional love!

Love is such a powerful force especially when shared! Think of the last time someone loved you even when you might not have felt you deserved it! It is powerful!

Spend your time and energy validating someone instead of thinking what you would do different in a situation! Seek the good in others...give people the benefit of the doubt! You will be amazed at your capacity to love ...it will grow! Let go of so many expectations for those in your life and give more acceptance, appreciation, and understanding!

Find JOY in loving others! You can make a difference just by choosing to not place judgement and showing UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!