Should I cut off my wedding ring?

I was on the airplane today and over heard two ladies behind me talking about styles of clothing and weight. Then I heard one lady say, "I'm starting on Monday!" I couldn't help but giggle.  I am not an insensitive person at all. But, in my family... that is a forever joke. And the joke is on me. You see, I used to believe that phrase too. I said it often. I even wrote a blog titled that exact phrase back in 2012.

(Here is the link)  http://heatherearljoyinthejourney.blogspot.com/2012/03/im-starting-on-monday.html

My weight gain was originally from living in the hospital with my terminally ill child when I started emotionally eating. After she died, it got worse. And history repeated itself when I went through the same experience again... hospital with another terminally ill child and loss. Food was my drug. I weighed 245 pounds at my biggest. Then one day, I wanted to change. I walked til I could jog and then I jogged until I could run. I lost 100 pounds in 8-9 months from total dedication to clean eating, water and exercise. 

I have kept that weight off for 15 years. (With a fluctuation of 25 pounds here and there)

Until the last two years. For many, many months I have been saying the phrase again.... "I'm starting on Monday." And of course, we all laugh... me included! Several months ago, I was home alone and there was no laughing going on. In fact, there was only crying. I realized that my finger was starting to really bother me because my wedding ring was getting so tight on my finger. I couldn't even twist it around. 

{A few weeks previous to that night I had stepped on the scale. I gasped to see my weight over 200. Since that picture, I weighed one more time and weighed a little more than that.}

So that night that I was home alone... I literally had the thought cross my mind that I needed to cut my ring off due to my weight gain. That is the moment that I stopped and prayed for strength to really take back control of my weight. I decided that night that I was not gonna cut my ring off and was going to get back to the way I looked just 2 years previous. Enjoying exercise, cross fit, and Insanity videos. I loved it and couldn't get enough of it! You are just a better you when you are physically fit and healthy! 

Through this weight gain I remember taking a picture of myself that we were gonna post on face book and I actually considered editing the picture. I had never edited pictures of myself. You know those pictures that you take 15 shots of and 15 different angles of to get just the right one. I didn't want to be that girl, but I was noticing that I would retake pictures to get the right one. That's not me. I didn't like it! So here is an example of that....Same night...different angle! And of course, I am holding my chin down for dramatic purposes and to be funny! But I would have never posted that one. Until now! 

I refuse to edit... I strive to be authentic and if I am editing pictures then that's not the real me. So, I haven't edited. 

Well, I decided that enough was enough and I had to find that healthy me again. I was tired of feeling tired, sluggish, out of breath so easily, not being able to sing as well, having a double chin, swelling in the morning and lots of other problems that I was noticing. 

So I was going to do like I had before, and begin exercising and clean eating! I am an "all or nothing" person and when I'm ON.... you can't stop me! Well, I realized very quickly that my 41 year old body was NOT the same body like 15 years ago. My efforts weren't working and I kept feeling the tug to start a program. I would shut that thought down very quickly and then tell myself..."I have done it before, I can do it again!" all on my own. Well, that wasn't proving to be the case. This went on for a few weeks back and forth. I finally prayed about it again and felt prompted to call a friend from church that I noticed had been having a glow about her for several weeks! I wanted my glow back! That glow that only comes from being healthy and feeling at your best physically, emotionally and spiritually! They all go together! 

I called her and said, "This might sound weird but I feel prompted to call you and start what you are doing. She told me that it wasn't weird at all and she totally believed me because that she was also prompted in her heart to start this program. I then went on to explain that I guess I was being stubborn and would have called a month ago if I hadn't of been thinking that I could do this on my own like before with out a program. 

I am so grateful that I followed my heart! Since starting this program 2 weeks ago... I am down 13 pounds!!!!! I have energy again!!!!! I can twist my wedding ring around on my finger!!!!! I have already noticed my clothes fitting better!!!! The swelling that I used to wake up to is gone!!!! Some aches and pains that I was experiencing are gone!!!! I just feel BETTER!!! 

I know it sounds to good to be true! But I know how miserable I was feeling just 2 weeks ago and I am not feeling that way anymore! I am already experiencing JOY in my journey back to health. 

I am grateful that I was led to this program! I wanted to be healthy again and with this program the weight loss is just a side effect! Here's to a healthy Heather again! No need to beat myself up that I have to take these steps again.. It's never too late to start over! There must have been something that I needed to learn that I missed the first time!

I can't wait to blog again with more updates to my journey back to health! 

Until I blog again........

Heather