Due to much experience in this area I have gotten MUCH better at letting go of hurtful words of others and rising above what some people say to me, about me or behind my back! But every now and then, something someone says can stick with me and I analyze it and RE-Analyze it and sometimes analyze it again!
Well, about a year ago at an event that I was attending...It was in between activities and I was sitting on the couch in the lobby and there was another girl sitting on the other couch and we began chatting! She was cute and pregnant and so I started a conversation asking when her baby was due and what names had they picked out and so on! Then she asked me a couple of questions like where was I from and how many kids did I have! Then she said, something that has stuck with me for a year!!! Yes a year! She said, "YOU'RE HIGH MAINTENANCE AREN'T YOU?' I actually laughed out loud...(because I am so the opposite of high maintenance! In fact, my daughter teases me of how little time I spend getting ready and selecting my outfits and I will throw on a pair of flip-flops IN A SECOND!) hahahha So, I responded, by laughing and said, "UM NO I am actually so not high maintenance! I throw this curly hair up in a second and I'm a wash and go kind of girl! Don't wear much make up so I 'm in and out of the mirror in 5 minutes sometimes less! Then she kind of raised her eyebrows and didn't really say much else! I totally felt awkward cause it was almost like one of those little stings that people throw at you! But, I truly don't even think she meant any harm! I complimented her on her outfit because her skirt was totally cute and was on my way! I can't tell you how many times her words have encountered my mind since then! One of my weaknesses through my life was believing the WORDS OF OTHERS! Like I said earlier that I have truly strengthened myself in that area but I still have tendencies to hang on to unkind words and battle them in my mind and this was one of those times that I just could not get rid what was said to me! Many times when I would look in the mirror her words would cross my mind! I continued to tell myself that she meant no harm and so I decided to look up the definition of ...High Maintenance!
HIGH MAINTENANCE: Requiring alot of attention, exaggerates to gain attention, expensive taste, never comfortable, constantly concerned about her appearance, judges others based on outward appearance, narcissistic and mean, typically a person who thinks that the price of things equals value, stuck up, drama queen, demanding, expects alot, depends on everyone else!
Well, just like my subconscious had thought all this time it didn't feel good for a reason! I tried to give the benefit of the doubt but after reading the description of this.... I thought, "Who would say something like that?" Especially because she didn't know me! She only went off of my looks to assume!
So I battled with it a little more...It actually became more funny to me because I kept thinking...If she only knew...I will buy a piece of clothing at a garage sale or the sale rack ANYTIME! I have a few things that I just had to have and bought myself but overall...I will run to the discounts! If she only knew...that I am HUGE about accepting others AS THEY ARE and I look on the heart. If she only knew...I am so not mean in fact, I would question if there is even a mean bone in my body. If she only knew...at the grocery store I buy off brand. If she only knew...I give, I serve, I love, I do for others before myself, I care so deeply for others that it hurts, I cry when others cry, I'm compassionate, I never expect anything in return! I thought if she made that assumption on my outside appearance then she didn't realize how easy curly hair is to maintain! I look in my closet and literally grab this and grab that and throw it together and then slide on coordinating color of flip flops! hahaha oh and if it's because my toenails are always polished well this is why....
When I was in the hospital for months while my child was dying! A sweet lady came into the waiting room with a basket on her arm. She looked around the room and said she was there to give love and serve. She found me that day... She asked me could she give me a pedicure and make me feel special! I lived in that ICU waiting room for months without leaving to the outside world. I cried and said that I would love for her too! She proceeded to get warm water to fill her bucket and gently massaged my feet with lotion for a long time! ( I still cry thinking of the love that she offered to me that day) She took a little over an hour and ended by painting my toenails really pretty! What she did for me that day has lasted a lifetime! I don't know who she was but I hope God is blessing her everyday because she gave me a gift that day that I can only repay by paying it forward! So to this day, It is the one self indulgent thing that I do every two weeks like clock work! And now I enjoy it with my husband! It is so beyond a vanity thing! My toes represent a life changing day for me! They will always be painted and blingy representing happiness and a refreshing love that a stranger gave to me while I endured watching my child slowly die!
Please, never assume and make judgements of someone and say things that can injure the heart!
FIND JOY IN LOVING OTHERS and doing what you can to be like the "pedicure lady" There are opportunities all around EVERY DAY! You just have to desire to give and love! Give more of yourself. You never know whose life you can change for a lifetime!
I promise that your life will be more full of everything good when you reach out and touch others lives! And when you get a compliment, remember it! Believe that they meant it and repeat it to your mind often! Don't believe the words that are meant to hurt! You don't need those people in your life! You deserve to have people in your life that see the BEST in you! And lastly, DON'T BELIEVE the lies in your head that many times come from someone else! You are worth more than GOLD! You are beautiful and worthy and deserving!
So in the end, I'm thankful for the words High Maintenance...cause I realized that it does take alot of maintenance to LOVE FULLY and to build strong relationships, and to serve, and to grow a stronger relationship with your Father in Heaven! It takes tons of time and maintenance to do all of those things! So that is my new definition of High Maintenance!
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