My life was changed forever!

Have you ever gotten a massage? Well, if you haven't you should! If you have then I am sure that you can agree with me that it is relaxing, tranquilizing , therapeutic and  GREAT thinking time! On Monday, I had a massage scheduled and went like I always do twice a month. Only to realize that within moments of my massage starting that I was going to receive some beautiful life inspiration!

LET'S GO BACK....

It was  June 2009....4 years ago on a hot Texas summer day and me and the kids were going to go swimming. But, of course, I told them that we would go as soon as the chores were completed! So we all pressed forward trying to get all the tasks done so that we could GO! I wanted to go just as bad as the kids! We were in all different areas of the house speedily working when my son had an idea.

It was probably over 100 degrees outside and my son was thinking that it was too hot for the dogs to be outside so he was going to bring him in his room to cool off before we had to leave! So let me tell you what was goin on with our dogs at the time! We had our daddy pit named Smokey and we also had Smokey's son, Gixxer! Smokey and Gixxer were wonderful, fun and great family dogs! They loved the kids and protected them. They were very loyal dogs and totally apart of our family! One day Gixxer had grown larger than his dad! He was mixed with Pit Bull and American Bull dog...Beautiful dog! Anyway, Smokey all of a sudden wasn't OK with his son Gixxer being bigger and began to get dominant when it came to eating and would try and put Gixxer in his place! I'm sure Gixxer had respect for his dad and always responded to Smokey's request to back away when he growled at him! Well, one day Gixxer said enough is enough and reacted to Smokey! They began to fight! Luckily Shay was home and was able to break them apart! I called the vet wondering what I could do and I was told that this can be normal and it could last 2 times, 2 months, 2 years, or they could never get past the "Alpha Dog" syndrome! We were told to split the dogs up and only let them be together when they were monitored by us.

So, the day that Kolby was deciding to let Gixxer in to cool off in his room was during this separation period of time! Smokey was already having his turn in the house cooling off and had fallen asleep comfortably in the living room behind the coffee table! Kolby did not see Smokey sleeping and went to the back door to let Gixxer in the house! IMMEDIATELY, Smokey jumps up out of his sleep and attacks Gixxer! It all happened SO FAST! I remember being back in my room and hearing Kolby and Hayley screaming for me to come! They were fighting in the living room and of course, it was one of the worst times ever! Blood is going everywhere and I had to act fast! They are super strong and big dogs. Shay is very strong and even had difficulty pulling them apart under these circumstances! Well, this time Shay wasn't home! It was up to me or they were probably gonna just keep fighting and fighting! I was trying to keep calm but also at that moment wasn't even sure how safe it was to interfere with two strong dogs! I knew I couldn't just let them destroy the furniture and the room so I decided to bend down and grab Smokey and have Hayley grab Gixxer by his collar and I had Kolby open the back door! We are panicking but acting fast! ONE PROBLEM....Smokey didn't have his collar on! (Hayley had taken it off to let him relax) So, I had to bend over and bear hug him from the back! I help onto him with all of my strength while we prayed that they would release each other! Somehow, amazingly we pulled them apart and got one in the backyard and the other was taken to the garage. All of a sudden, I realized that I could NOT breathe very well! I thought I was having a panic attack...(I had never had one so I wasn't sure) All I knew was that I couldn't catch my breath or breathe very well. I ran to the kitchen to get water from the sink! Nothing helped, I told the kids I was going to my bed to lay down and see if calming down would stop this! I went to lay down on my bed and I fell to the floor! I couldn't even make it to my bed! I went to get up and COULDN'T MOVE! I started screaming for the kids...I had never felt pain like that before! IT makes me tear up even remembering that day! I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME! All I knew was that I HAD FALLEN AND I COULDN'T GET UP! ( I have always wanted to say that) hahaha But, unfortunately it really was the truth! I had the kids call my husband, my brother and anyone that could get there the fastest! They were both still out of town that day! My mom was traveling home from somewhere and couldn't make it to me for like 3 hours! I laid there on the floor crying in the worst pain I had ever had in my life until my mom got there 3 hours later!

We knew it was my back so she got me to a chiropractor! I can't even describe the excruciating pain that I experienced to get me up off the floor and in the car! They immediately got me in a wheel chair and I am crying continuously as I fill our documents. They got me back and did x-rays and realized that obviously I had damaged some disks! I had an MRI and discovered that I had a torn lower disk and an extreme bulging disk! The torn disk was the culprit for me unable to move or walk! I was bent over almost looking at my knees. I could not stand straight up! I was in a wheelchair and brought home unable to move except crawl to the bathroom for weeks on end. I couldn't even lean forward to pick up my own drink. I sat on the couch for day after day after day for almost a month and a half!  I got up and started waking with a cane but it took me another month before I could stand up straight! MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER! I had such a severe injury they were unsure if it was going to heal on its own after a LONG time or if I was going to need surgery! I ended up going for the LONG recovery!

I had never experienced physical pain like this and was immediately COMPASSIONATE for anyone that has ever had to experience any kind of physical pain on a daily basis from any source! I will always have that compassion! Also, I gained weight being so immobile. My life had changed! I couldn't work. I couldn't be a mom. I couldn't even take care of myself! Major life change sitting on the couch needing everyone else having to take care of me! Month after month and I had gotten depressed from the weight gain and the inability to do anything with my family! If it weren't for my daughter Hayley, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE! She took care of me non-stop, day in and day out that ENTIRE SUMMER! She had to even reach my drink for me if I wanted a sip because the pain was great just to move my arm! So when Shay got home they would get me situated and take the kids OUT! I had to stay home day in and day out! Anyway, you get the point! I WAS NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME! We never went swimming that day and my life was changed forever.

So this is where the massage therapy comes in! After some time of healing....I decided to continue to heal from getting massage therapy. I got a massage EVERY MONDAY for almost a year! I was 34 and after almost a year of massage therapy I was laying on the table and the therapist says to me..."Heather, you are 34 years old and you have the flexibility of a 60 year old. This is serious, what are you going to do? Is this all you are ever gonna be? All I could do was cry! I had tried everything! I couldn't hardly work out! I could walk but not for too long! I was functioning but still after all of those years could not sit too long, stand too long, walk too long, do the dishes very long (the angle killed my back) I couldn't lift anything...basically I still needed help from everyone! Anyway, i just went on with my life and still getting massage therapy once or twice a month with a different therapist! I didn't know if I would ever get back anywhere near normal physical activity! It was especially hard coming from our very physical family! No more hand stand competitions, chase, and all the other things we used to do! Mama ALWAYS SAT AND WATCHED FROM THE SIDE! IT SUCKED! It took me awhile to even get my mind right about it all! But, through all the years I learned to deal with the pain! I learned what I could do and what I couldn'd do! I learned how easy it was to overdue it! I learned how to live with pain without complaining! I learned how to wear a smile on my face despite the pain! I learned that I would have setbacks but that I could continue to get stronger and better everyday.

So back to MONDAY...I was laying there for my massage and my therapist that I have had for about 6 months starts her massage and says, "I know you like the music loud and to enjoy the silence but I have to ask you...WHAT ARE YOU DOING...you look fabulous and I am massaging a whole LOT more muscle than ever before...You look fantastic!" Well, You got believe someone who is actually feeling your muscles and seeing you without clothes. (of course, with the sheet) But anyway it was one of those moments that I realized I paid the price to get to where I was receiving that compliment! It didn't just happen! I started crying and she had NO IDEA what she had said that would make me cry! I told her what the therapist had said 4 years ago about me and that it had always stuck with me! She understood why her words meant so much to me! Here I was full circle, back in a massage and the words this time were SO DIFFERENT! I learned very valuable things at that very moment! I learned that the quote that says, fall down 7 times and stand up 8 is a true principle! I learned that if we quit we never will see the miracle. I learned that we may not always understand our pain but it is always something that you can learn from it! I learned that I had kept going even in  my pain and I had just reaped the reward by her words that my hard work had paid off! I still experience back pain but I endure and work through it! You see, I had tried to get my core stronger because I was told that I would help my back pain....Well, the pain was always too great and I quit! This time I worked through the pain and eventually the pain was lessened just like they said it would be if I got my core stronger! I finally pressed forward long enough and hard enough that I BROKE FREE!

How many times do we stop short because its too hard or the pain is too much and we give up? I did it several times within the last 4 years! I have now challenged myself to get in the BEST shape that I possibly can! I know what it feels like to have no choice to sit on the couch from severe pain! I want to live my life as proof that I never want to go back to the couch from immobility! I am gonna do all I can do to keep going and make a difference for my health so that I can prove to myself that I came through this trial and that I can OVERCOME! Although, I have limitations, I am finding everyday that I can push through barriers and change my circumstances!
And if I have to deal with a little pain and soreness...IT'S OK...I am on a MISSION!


 FIND JOY IN OVERCOMING AND FIGHTING BY PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER NO MATTER HOW HARD OR HOW PAINFUL! You will find that one day that next step may take you out of the pain and trial! Move forward with faith and NEVER QUIT! THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

A Beautiful Perspective

Every time I pull out the laptop to write I wonder why it has been so long since the last post. Oh how I love to write! I especially love writing about things that I can't quit thinking about or that impact me so much I just have to share!


This is one of those that I just have to share, as I feel that it was a straight blessing and answer to my prayers! Oh how I love it when I am reminded of things that I share on a regular basis and is kind of a wake up call to me! I love being reminded of my life theme...A BETTER ME A BETTER MOM!

So, I recently went to Cancun, Mexico for a Scentsy leadership meeting! I have to admit that I almost talked myself out of going! Only because I was not ready to leave my family again! (You know you have traveled alot when you don't want to go to Mexico) In 2012 I was gone on a trip almost once a month or every other month...so needless to say I was not ready to pack those bags quite yet! But of course, I did!

The first 2 days I was homesick but still managed to enjoy myself and learned amazing things! I have never really experienced being homesick! I think alot of it had to do with the emotions of the last time that I was gone for a week my family was hit by a tornado and life was drastically changed!

On the 3rd day I was able to talk to my husband and ended up spending 4 hours on the phone having a wonderful conversation about everything! Being gone is good sometimes because you get the chance to be missed! I decided that the last day I would have some "ME" time...which you usually don't get when you are at  a big leadership because you are spending it with all of your dear friends! So the 4th morning I scheduled a spa/massage appointment! (PURE AWESOMENESS) I thought that after that I would catch up with everyone! But, by the time I was done most everyone had already gone into town for some shopping! So I declared it a pool day and went down searching for some friends to hang out with! Well, after my long walk and search I found no one. So, I decided to find me a spot and ENJOY some sun!!!

So here I am in Mexico with 600+ people at the resort and I am by myself! As I laid there I had so many things running through my head...."This is incredible", "Man, I could do this everyday", "I miss my family". " I am so happy". "I love my life", " I am grateful for so many things"

You know the feeling when you just feel so much gratitude.... So that is where my mindset was! Especially after the AMAZING spa experience and massage! Anyway, when I have this kind of time I always repeat in my mind....A BETTER ME A BETTER _______! I allow myself to reflect and think what could I improve on or work on to make the relationships in my life more meaningful and stronger! (Yep that's me) Well anyway I was thinking of my kids and I had different memories flash through my head! Some great and some not so great! Like the moments when I lost my temper at something or the day I didn't have patience and responded with words I wished I could take back!  Which led me think about what I could do differently upon my arrival home to really let my kids know that I was their #1 supporter and that I loved them unconditionally in spite of the messy rooms, occasional talking back, unfinished homework, unfinished chores, lazy moments and etc,.

At this moment, I am laying out by the pool with my eyes closed, listening to the waves, hearing the music, the sound of laughter from other guests, and just thinking! When all of a sudden I was tuned into this one voice...."come on, you can do it", " oh, look at our big boy", "look mama, he is doing it", " take one more step", "we are so proud of you", ""Hunny, I am getting it all on video...keep talking to him so he doesn't stop", "Wow, you are really doing it", "Come on bubba you can do it", "oh look at our big boy" .....So as you can imagine me with my eyes still closed, I was picturing a little toddler that was just learning to walk and was walking into the water for the first time by himself! It caused me to open my eyes and see the cute little family! To my surprise, it was not a little beginner toddler....It was a boy that was probably 16-18 years of age and the dad was in the water talking to his son and the mom was behind filming! I could not quit watching the excitement and COMPLETE LOVE in their faces as they encouraged their son. I was so intrigued I could not quit watching! I started clapping and joining in saying, "you can do it" I looked at the dad and saw tears strolling down his face! I knew that I was witnessing something special and had no idea of the magnitude!

The boy went in as far as he could stand and turned around and went back to his mom who greeted him with teary hugs! The father saw my interest and approached me to tell me that every day with their Ben is a GIFT and that Ben was supposed to die about 10 years ago and that he is mute and deathly afraid of the water! (I am not sure of his exact condition) He said think of all the things that you do with water.... I understood that he was sharing what a struggle life has been raising Ben! Everything, Everyday is a major challenge! He had tears rolling down his face as he shared that this trip was a gift from loved ones! Because of his medical expenses they have never been able to travel with Ben. So here they were in Mexico and for the first time in his life he wanted to go into the water! I couldn't hold back the tears! The last thing he said to me was..."Not one day has been easy but it has been so worth it! Ben has taught us some beautiful lessons in life and we CHERISH EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NEVER GET MAD AT HIM FOR THE STRUGGLE FOR WE NEVER KNOW WHEN IT MIGHT BE HIS LAST DAY...BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD HIM 10 YEARS LONGER THAN WE WERE TOLD WE WOULD! SO WE MAKE THE BEST OF EVERY SINGLE DAY NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE I WOULD HATE TO LOSE HIM ON A DAY THAT I GOT ANGRY, SO I KEEP GOING AND GOING" "He said, TODAY IS A MIRACLE"

I told him that I would cherish this moment and that I felt privileged to have witnessed his miracle!
He then leaves back to his son and I am laying there with tears streaming down my face! Realizing how blessed I was to have witnessed that and also feeling it a direct blessing that I was just pondering how I could go home and be a better mom! My life had been changed by strangers that felt all so familiar! Thank you to my Heavenly Father that blessed me with that beautiful visual and paradigm shift! See, I know what it feels like to lose my children and have many things that I do differently because of having that perspective! But as I have reached this phase in my life with teenagers it was a beautiful lesson RIGHT ON TIME! How grateful I was for this BEAUTIFUL PERSPECTIVE SHIFT!

So, if you have felt that your mundane routine of laundry, chores, homework, baths, cooking dinner, practicing math, science fair projects, potty training, teenagers talking back, curfews being broken, the list goes on and on and on ..... always REMEMBER THIS STORY! Remember this father's perspective and change your mindset! These children came here to be with you because of you and we as their parents should love them and cherish them EVERYDAY! For you never know when it could be your last day with them!

Find JOY in your CHILDREN no matter what! No matter how frustrating it can get! Find JOY in being a mother and WITH ALL THAT BEING A MOTHER CONSISTS OF! Finding JOY in the journey of raising your children makes for a better quality of growing up! Let them know that you love them and helping them succeed! If your heart is not in it then they will know!

FIND JOY IN THIS BEAUTIFUL PERSPECTIVE CHANGE when you feel unappreciated as a mother for it will make you feel like soaring!